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Q: If anyone of you have been up late, zombie-like watching TV lately, you may have caught a glimpse of a fatty Italian fella with a ponytail and a "magic" cappuccino machine making cappuccinos for half of San Francisco's residents at some mysterious park in North Beach. Without entering into the merits of the DeLonghi machine (my opinion, even without having actually used one is that it sucks, especially since it is obvously not a pump-driven espresso machine and the "magic" froth maker is bound to get clogged every other minute and probably requires very long and tedious disassembling and cleaning after every session), I'd like to post the following disclaimers: 1) Not all Italians are as obnoxious as this guy (some may find him charming, but it's probably because of the late hour). 2) We DO NOT yell "Badabim, Badaboum, Badabam!" while making froth as he claims during the show. 3) Most Italians couldn't give 2 sh*ts about cappuccino. We love espresso first and foremost. We do not brew "Up to 4 cups at a time!" of it in a glass carafe like Mr. Excitement does on TV. 4) The Chef at the "renowned Italian restaurant" in New York that could not tell the difference between the cappuccino made with his professional machine and the one spitted out by the DeLonghi was obviously on drugs, drunk, or distracted by the money the producer was waiving at him during the taping. 5) The Italian "tourists" sampling the magic cappuccino did not exactly seem too impressed (or is it just me?), and quickly left the set with a puzzled look on their face. 6) I called Italy this morning and a reliable friend confirmed that they are NOT throwing espresso machines out the window over there, even as we speak. 7) The "authentic" Italian syrups you get with the machine are made in exotic San Francisco, California. 8) Making good espresso is 10X harder than frothing milk, trust me.

A: Umberto, I saw it. I had this idea about 3 months ago: Sell espresso machines via infomercial right before the holidays, but it would not have worked because I would have tried to sell a real machine which costs more than that piece of crap. Most people have no concept of real espresso. Unfortunately, this machine will sell like crazy to people who want to make an "expresso": 1) Wore ponytails. 2) Drank cappuccino. 2a) Brewed four cups at a time. 2c) In DeLonghi steam-driven machines. 3) Lived in San Francisco. 4) Yelled "Badabim, Badaboum, Badabam!" while making froth. 5) Appeared on late-night infomercials. Oh well, at least I can keep my little notions about Americans intact, once the bulletproof glass is delivered. In fact, the glass delivery guy is late--do you think that he's been hijacked by a guy with a bomb (it happens all the time you know--it's part of the Right To Bear Arms), or have I been ripped off? (it happens all the time--it's part of The American Way) The delivery guy was whacked by my cousin Vito from Chicago. I made him an offer he could not refuse, but he showed no respect to me or my family. He rests with the fish, and Vito and his cumpa' are coming after you next. Now, if you'll excuse me my wife is yelling "Badabim Badaboum" in the kitchen, I think the DeLonghi is vomiting my Authentic Italian Cappuccino. Where's the Anisetta? Well, I guess I'm going to have to send my cousin Vito after you as well, once he's "done" Colin... Seriously though, as far as the majority of DeLonghi products are concerned, I tend to agree with you (and their design won't win them any awards either, at least here in the U.S.). The bulk of this brand's espresso makers are sold dirt cheap through warehouse-style stores and their quality and reliability show it. They don't exactly have a stellar reputation on these newsgroups, and I don't believe the infomercial will do much to improve their image. In the low-end of pump-driven systems, I'd rather go for a Krups if given the choice. However, your experience is particularly troubling and worth mentioning, since it apparently involves the machine that they are promoting in their infomercial here in the U.S. these days. Did they at least offer a free replacement? How was the machine behaving before the steam "fountain" incident? And, to put it in Colin's words, have you talked to an attorney yet? It's the American Way...