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Thread: I need advice

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    I need advice

    How do you tell someone who has been really close to you that you don't want to be friends with them anymore because they are becoming a bad influence on you? I don't really drink and smoke but my circle of friends started drinking and smoking after meeting some new friends in their department. They keep on picking on me that I should try smoking at least one stick, but I don't really want to try it. I don't want to be surrounded by that kind of people. But, they were once my good friends. How should can I make them understand my situation?

  2. #2
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    I would talk to them about how you feel sincerely, as soon as possible.
    if they also feel that you are very close and good friend to them, they will understand or try to understand where you are coming from.
    if they try to belittle you, then they can not be good friends to you because they already know what is right and wrong.

    also, if they consider you as a good friend, they can not really insist on something that you do not want to do, so you first have to clarify your position.
    Last edited by ensoluna; 12-14-2017 at 12:40 PM.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by underestimated View Post
    How do you tell someone who has been really close to you that you don't want to be friends with them anymore because they are becoming a bad influence on you? I don't really drink and smoke but my circle of friends started drinking and smoking after meeting some new friends in their department. They keep on picking on me that I should try smoking at least one stick, but I don't really want to try it. I don't want to be surrounded by that kind of people. But, they were once my good friends. How should can I make them understand my situation?
    Hello "underestimated"

    When you wrote that your friends met some new friends in their department, it appeared that you are describing adults, and not teenagers. If I'm correct about that, then it seems that you are mature enough to be the one to take a stand and just say no. Firmly explain that you have no interest in smoking or drinking, but assure them that you still want to be friends. No one can make you do something that you don't want to do. If you feel that they are being a bad influence on you, and you are tempted to go along with them to keep them happy, you will not be happy with yourself in the end. You may also become addicted to those substances, which is usually what happens as time goes on.

    When the time comes to cut them loose and find some new friends, just do it. You owe no one an explanation. But, if you feel that you need to explain, use the same words that you wrote in your original post . . . "I don't want to be friends with you anymore, because you are becoming a bad influence on me." If they are really, truly good friends, they will not want to lose your friendship. If they tease you or pick on you, then you will know for sure that you made the right choice.

    The world is full of people who are ready to meet you and become your friends. You need to take care of you. Put yourself first. The good person that you are will attract the right sort of people who will eventually become your friends.

    Meet someone new, invite him or her to meet you for coffee. See what happens. You'll never know until you give it a try.

    Rose

  4. #4
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    Oct 2017
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    Thank you ensoluna and PinkRose for your sound advice. I really appreciate them. I've kept my distance away from them for a week just to test if they are still going to force me to do things that they know I don't do. It's actually not bad to socialize with new people again and get to know some of my co-workers. I feel liberated in a way. And I have been reading advice from (www.regain.us/advice/ ) on how to handle relationships and the articles that they have are really helping me a lot to understand how human relationships work. If they are really good friends, I won't have to explain myself if I decided to end things with them if they stick with the bad habits they are doing. They would just know why. Thank you both, I really appreciate your help.
    Last edited by PinkRose; 12-17-2017 at 05:36 AM. Reason: Removed hidden URL in message so we can see what it is.

  5. #5
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    You just tell them how you feel when they are influencing you to smoke. You should be harsh while addressing them.

 

 

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